Mom

Sigh...
I so wanted to post about my friends and show pictures, but after a phone conversation with mom last night, I decided to hold off for now.

I called mom like I normally would over a weekend. She seemed fine. However the conversation switched to if I would be bringing anyone home for the holidays. I told her no..just me. She said "good, I do not want any gayness in my home".

I was just confused at that point. She told me that she was over me having my boyfriends over (I have only had one over there during holidays) and that it isn't right.

I told her it isn't right that she can have Tina or Bill there since they are not family...just the family's significant others. She said "That's different...they are heterosexual".

By that point my temper was flaring. She was like "look Brian...I love you and will always love you, but I cannot accept what you are.".

I told her that she is taking the risk that she may never see me again. She thought I was overreacting, but I am not.

I am tired of her telling me how I should be in life. I am more tired of the mixed signals I get from her as it was never really an issue before but 7 yrs later after I came out it is???? Just doesn't make sense.

I almost cancelled my trip to KY, but decided to go home and talk with her about this. At least try to understand why she would say the things she did.

If I discover that her decision stands...I will say good-bye to my mother...and head back to SC.

Not the way I want it, but I have to live my life. I can no longer live a life someone wants me live because it makes God happy.

Times of Silence

Ya..I know. I haven't posted much. Lots going on in that head of mine.

I am debating on whether I should put my posts public or not. I will decide soon.

Until then...Thank You Thomas for your thoughts tonight. You are a good friend.